If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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