i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's blow job season.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
