well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
