Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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