Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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