I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
