Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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