he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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