At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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