gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
