Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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