so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
