It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
