oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
