no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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