I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
