I am in a vortex of obligation.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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