Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
