I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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