She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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