don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
