I heard we made out
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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