I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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