If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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