She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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