My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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