Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
