A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
