That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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