i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
