How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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