If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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