Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize