I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
