My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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