I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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