At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
