So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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