We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
