At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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