That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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