i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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