You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
