tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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