you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
