A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
