They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
