He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
