he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
