Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
