Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
